I’ve told you about my wife’s dreams, the ones where she wakes up in the morning and won’t speak to me because of some vile perfidy I committed in my sleep. This morning was the worst so far. I had slept with someone, albeit when drunk, and my wife was very upset. What upset me is that the person I’d slept with in her dream was someone who, in real life, had changed the apostrophe in their surname to a full stop because they thought “it reads the same, it just looks more classy”. So O’Malley would become O. Malley.